Very sweet story, Marilyn Flower. I have some issue with feeling “at home.” When I was younger, that phrase meant feeling at home in my body, like my mind, soul, and body were seamlessly integrated and therefore grounded. I very much liked being in my body before I had lupus cerebritis.

I became physically handicapped when I was 25/26 years old. It was caused by a lupus flare-up that affected my brain stem and spinal cord. It transiently affected my vision and my arm control. But it settled in my trunk and legs— from my waist through toe tips — and left me with impaired motor control and well as paresthesia (pins-and-needles sensation) from the waist down.

It’s been a very long time ow that I’ve felt comfortable in my body to the point that I feel at home. There’s always a discrepency between how I remember my corporate home and all the dysfunction it carries today.

Sometimes I feel like my body is my enemy. But then I realize that lupus is my real enemy and then I can relax a bit deeper into the body I have now.