Step 7: How Long Do You Want to Live With an Asshole?

The one time it’s good to give up*

Photo by Jeff Kingma on Unsplash

*Disclaimer This meditation contains the “G”-word . . . God. We don’t proselytize in Al-Anon; it’s completely devoid of religion in literature, in meetings, etc. But to heal, Al-Anoners must come to believe in some — any — form of Higher Power. I chose the term “God,” but you may choose whatever or whomever you like!

Step 7: “Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.”

Using the term “asshole” to describe myself may be a bit harsh, but by the time I reached Step Seven in my mid-20s, I had certainly grown extremely tired of living with the then-current ACOA (adult child of an alcoholic) aspects of myself (not an exhaustive list by any means):

• my victimhood mentality (everything in my life was always someone else’s fault or due to some circumstance outside of myself),
• my poor-me attitude (my inner “pity pot” got a brutal workout before I learned about Al-Anon),
• my need to strive for everyone’s approval,
• my tendency to live in my head trying to figure out how to control people, places, and things so I could finally feel happy,
• my dank, dark thoughts (negativity and suicidal thoughts constantly swirled in my mind),