Member-only story
Recovery Reading 03/15/24: Setting Healthy Boundaries
Healthy boundaries support what you value
Self-care is a huge deal at Al-Anon meetings. It may be just one personal sharing heard around a meeting circle or it may be the entire topic of a meeting.
Self-care is a big deal because we who live, or have lived with, an alcoholic may have been emotionally, psychologically, and/or physically abused by a the drinker. We may be lacking in loving sexual encounters with or simply affectionate, non-sexual touch by a drinking spouse. If we haven’t, then some of us may have just lost the touch of simple self-care in terms of going to the dentist or doctor when needed. Trying to cure or control a drinker in the family soaks up energy that you might otherwise use to care for yourself. In most cases there is a presence of harm or an absence of care. Either way, it hurts.
One of the first ways Al-Anoners struggle their way through expressing self-care is by setting boundaries. I remember when I first started in the program, I didn’t know where I and the other person, not necessarily the alcoholic, started and ended.
My very first foray into boundary setting was throwing a small birthday party for myself. I invited just three other people: Rosalie, who years later would become my Al-Anon sponsor, Cindy, who was one of…
