Boy, can I relate. Thank you for the reality check. I'm a single, child-free, severly handicapped woman who doesn't get along with her one sibling. I'm not developmentally disabled, but my mom is my main caregiver. I dread the day when she dies because although I already have Medicaid aides to help out, I won't have my mom anymore and that thought rips my heart right out of my chest. You might want to consider setting up a special-needs trust for Caroline so you both can breathe a little easier. (((Hugs))) to both of you.