Al-Anon Meeting Culture

Make yourself right at home

Photo by Sidekix Media on Unsplash

The first thing that happens at an Al-Anon meeting — assuming you’re early or on time — is you’re welcomed, very possibly by more than one person. Lots of Al-Anon members like to hug! If you prefer not to be hugged, for whatever reason, it’s fine to say that. I always ask people first if they’re “huggable.” That gives them an easy out if they prefer some distance. We try always to respect personal boundaries in Al-Anon.

If you’re early, you might be asked to help put out some chairs, set up the coffee, read one of the steps during the meeting opening, etc. Service is a big part of Al-Anon for a number of reasons: It gives people a sense of value when they may not feel valued in their alcoholic situation; it redirects the focus from worrying and ruminating to performing a task in the present moment; and it’s a great way to meet other members!

The circle of chairs is almost always open (i.e., a chair is missing from the circle) to symbolize that everyone is welcome no matter what and to make it easier, especially for late-comers, to take a seat. If a circle is closed — which is rare — I’ll pull a chair out and put it away so it’s open.

Anonymity

You’ll hear about “anonymity” and “anonymous” in the opening and closing of the meeting and possibly when…