Member-only story
02/06/24 Recovery Reading: Consider the Source
Because not everyone really knows you
Both alcoholics and the people who love them can get the “crazies.” Alcoholics get drunk on alcohol and those who love them get drunk on emotion. Our reactions to what the alcoholic says can make things worse.
It’s important to keep ourselves sane by controlling the things we (mostly) can control: our thoughts, feelings, choices, decisions, and actions. Specifically, I’m writing about how to respond to the finger-pointing and criticizing that can come with alcoholism (the alcoholic’s, not ours; that’s a whole ‘nother blog post!).
I struggle to connect with a certain “dry” family member (ie, not drinking but without much AA recovery) who criticizes mostly everything I say (including how I say it) and do (and how I do it). We are complete opposites and in this case they do NOT attract. Repel is more like it.
This person had some exposure to AA but chose to drop out. Therefore, they still think and act much like an alcoholic: black-and-white thinking, rigid, critical, argumentative, and self-righteous. They have and still can still bring out the worst in me if I’m not careful to shield my “button board” so they can’t push them.
I often felt physically beat up and bruised by this person after rare family gatherings. It would take…
